Rapper A.M. - Blog & Forum

What do you live for?

I neglect...its what I do...I'm really really good at deflection, excuses, and turning down opportunities. I never know exactly why this is ingrained into my being but shit...if I were a super hero I'd be captain nah son...

I'll do better...

Gay means you are a pedophile...

https://www.facebook.com/fusionmedianetwork/videos/1449099255116048/

Watch it if you want...but I gotta say something about this. I am not gay, but I do not support the death of those who aren't like me. The bible says a lot of things about people, and if you choose to use it as an engine for your personal agenda then you my friend are a piece of shit.

Being gay doesn't make you a pedophile, there are women raping boys in school. So you can go and think about that. Being happy that people died and wishing that more had...well that makes you what you preach about my good sir...and honestly you should burn in your own version of hell for feeling that way, and for publicly thinking that you can smile while saying something so heinous. All in all fuck you. Be a better person. #stillangry

I'm just thinking(bars)

I wish I could be more than I ever was...I wish I never swore and I never cursed want heaven trust
...I wish this drank had much better buzz...same with my music shit...but I'ma slave to the pain and the voices say that its lucrative...
but if I'm real I ain't doing shit...or I ain't using it to its full potential...same when I work...why I refuse to quit...
I'm tired of spending nights wondering how i'm Keeping the lights on
how i'm getting the mice gone...need for soap and this right guard...
tired of praying to this white god...black or asian its my god...
and he ain't answering and i'm feeling i'm worthless thinking am I wrong...
questioning my existence...wondering is it something missing...
Or am I just phucking different...placed the signs did I jump n miss it...
I ain't want to just sit...living feeling i'm selfish...
I ain't distant i'm selfless you just never remember...
I won't get it together been through many decembers...
gifts aren't moments of presents...since I sit in the present...
my vocal gift is my presence...
but yall just want another anger management...
I ain't drinking hard no more I found a way to manage it...
the angers entertaining I'ma work to my advantage when...
I feel so lonely when loving...
I'm lonely only in public...when i'm speaking i'm covered...
i'm bleeding recover...ain't needing no other but mother may give you hugs cuz I want you to understand me...
more than I do...so when I ask you why I feel odd...
you will have the answer to something...
but...i'm just thinking...

Word???

Is this a prince commercial???

So I want to take a few moments out of my busy day to say fuck everyone involved in this!

Nostalgia??? Pft

This is the idea behind the nostalgia of us 90's and late 80's babies???

I love the fact that I can blog about a lot of shit. The internet has so much out now that makes me go wtf. I do know that the video that I am about to rant about is a person's opinion, so I am not taking anything away from what the person said, but I do think its bullshit.

As a quick synopsis of the video above, they basically said that 90's babies are "nostalgic" because we were spoiled and we don't like the reality that we face today, they even mentioned 9/11 and the recession like that lowered the quality of life for us as adults now...but here we go #STILLANGRY

I look at a lot of things in terms of quality, I'ma nerd...I like anime...I am a big movie buff...I love rap music. If I just compare things in my time verses things right now its totally different. I'ma talk about music...boom 90's rap is easily better than most rap on the radio today! I don't care how you slice it...how corny some artist were or whatever. NIGGAS suck now...like suck. The youth today eat it up. I grew up listening to a lot of things and change is fine, but when you can't hear anything that an artist is saying it really art??? or are we just following the bandwagon, we are just eating what we are fed through mass media...which takes me to my next point. Well after this point. Not just rap sucks now...all music.

I'll separate each of these.

Television outside of cartoons and anime(I.E. DBZ and whatnot) regular shows were so much better. Black shows were so much better...just sit and think. Who's really fucking with Martin, Fresh Prince, a different world, the jeffersons, shows like that??? Who's fucking with friends, frazier, that 70's show??? What big bang theory??? I mean the shits funny but its nothing to write home about, and then outside of that you have shit like Mike and Molly like get the fuck out of here with two fat fucks fucking and laughing...I would be ashamed to be casted for an extra in that shit. I'm being serious...its not that we want things to go back and or that we were spoiled...we just had better shit. Power rangers, VR troopers, and beetleborgs are leagues better than this shit out now. Shit netflix and hulu and all of that shit even sucks, blockbuster and movie rental places were amazing. We don't get a full range of anything, its like a bunch of whatever they could get the rights for and other B list movies, which is FINE by the way, but if I'm comparing...it doesn't come close in the quality of what we had. Shit the biggest thing that we have going for us right now is reality television...THATS IT...and IT SUCKS. We have a bunch of black women perpetuating stereotypes and being oversexualized in the process. I get it its entertaining, but raps trying that and it sucks...where are the issues??? where are the quality actors(male and female?) I don't see it and I don't feel it. I hate it...our women black and white alike do not need to be famous through scripted drama thats categorized as real life...its cancerous.

Video games now suck...I play sports because everything else is too easy outside of like fallout, darksouls and such. There are a couple of fun games, but they aren't the same. I want something original, now it feels like the developers are scared to try something new, and they are looking to make a quick buck, just like movies and music. The goal today is money over quality. Duping fans into thinking they are actually going to have a great experience in something that they really long for and it doesn't happen. Shit the only thing that I think that has improved at least visually is porn...have you seen 1080p fucking before!? if not, I say check it out, its worth a watch.

FIRE PUSSY LMAO

Man idk. I don't think we are spoiled with anything. Life would be just as bad as it is now no matter what we experienced. Life is hard, thats the only thing for certain. I can't sit and agree with us being pampered as to why we don't like things how they are now. The govt sucks. Tv sucks. I suck for writing this. But, as I said we have so much that we can do with this handy computer...and I'm talk my shit!!!
Wait anime is still dope and some better than older titles, so anime and porn is all we got and that we can look forward to in the future.

RAPPER A.M. out!!! #stillangry abut everything.
check out HIBFL when you get some time.

What am I Doing???

I know we often wonder what the fuck we are doing in life...I often feel this every other month. Its like after a nice amount of time, my emotions want a break from being positive, and I just go dark. Right now i'm new to selling cars and i'm knee deep in a small career of music. I promise you my mind changes day to day about making it in both of these. I'm gonna talk about work for now. I sit and I sell a couple cars and then I hit a wall and I can't. I start to think to myself did I make the right decision in coming here, am I doing the right thing in choosing to do this. Are the hours right? am I wasting my time? I think that we will feel this way no matter what we are doing. We have a weird voice in our mind that says what else is out there and is this it? Even if I were a doctor making millions while killing people every other day, I would sit and say is this isn't what I should be doing. Shit money isn't what makes me tick...if I could go buy a new car without having to spend 20k I would. If I could hunt for my food I would. So idk. Its like i'm getting older and I'm looking at a lot of things, and I'm realizing that you work and you hate it. Even if you love it. I would much rather create daily than do anything with a boss. Then I sit and I say shit...if I do that well enough I'll need to hire someone to basically be my boss and take care of all of the things that I can't so its stupid. I'm stupid and life is stupid. Money is stupid and time is stupid. I continue to trod along hoping to miraculously put all of these wonderful qualities together in some sort of quagmire, and then booooom i'll have everything taken care of. No one told me that being an adult would be so hard. 30 with a new car a house and wife??? I need to sell drugs...and a lot to even get half of that. Fucking school cost me 40k and thats just a bachelor's degree hahahaha. Seems like you just lose and lose...so I don't know anymore...WTF AM I DOING???

Learning

A lot of times...we will think that we understand something that we are doing...we think that the something is good. Life is a lot harder than it needs to be, and the biggest reason for that is we don't know enough. Its difficult to teach someone without them experiencing it, one because we just hate thinking that someone can tell us what to do, and two we think we have all of the answers to everything already. Not knowing that we know nothing...and the something that we know really only scratches the surface of the bigger picture. The older we get the more we learn and its because we learn the biggest thing of all...that knowledge helps us get farther or further than any skill that we can possess. Its like playing the lottery and knowing the numbers already, we would win at everything before even trying it. I like it and it makes a lot of sense to me.